Delia Tries to Seduce Pat
(Pat is lying in his room at the resident's quarters, and recalls what Delia said to him earlier.)
VOICEOVER OF DELIA: I love you. I have all these years. Roger's the only person I can turn to now, but he's not my first choice. Frank wasn't either. It's always been you, Paddy. We belong together. We always have, and we always will - always, Paddy.
(He flashes back approximately seven years, when he and Dee were in his bedroom at his parents' apartment.)
PAT: Dee, we're not getting married!
DELIA: (hysterically) All I did - I bought a cheap little ring, I showed it to a few friends! I mean, you couldn't call everything off!
PAT: It's not just you playing that we're engaged. It's everything.
DELIA: (in tears) No, that's not it! You're furious at me because of it, that's it! I mean, you love me! I mean, you couldn't have stopped loving me, I know that!
PAT: We're too young. We're in too deep. Your brother's calling and asking me why you cried all night! I come home and I find you in my bedroom...
DELIA: Because I had to see you! I had to settle this!
PAT: You're right. We do. Come, sit down.
(They sit on the bed.)
PAT: Look, I've got college and medical school. I can't take on any more responsibilities.
DELIA: You don't have to marry me now.
PAT: I have to back off, and let you back off; date other guys.
DELIA: No, I don't want to date other guys!
PAT: Dee, I can't handle what we have; it's too heavy!
(She kisses him.)
DELIA: Don't pretend that you don't want me.
PAT: That's not what it's about.
DELIA: Tell me that you don't love me!
(She kisses him again.)
DELIA: Say it! Say it! Say, "Delia, I don't want to make love to you anymore." Say it!
PAT: We shared an awful lot. I care about you. I really care.
DELIA: I know.
(She hugs him tightly. Then he lies down on top of her.)
DELIA: Remember all our promises?
PAT: I found out I can't keep mine.
DELIA: (hysterically) You said that you loved me, you said that you would take care of me. I believed you!
PAT: I didn't understand then.
DELIA: I said I would love you. I love you more than anyone else in the whole world. I do, Paddy, I do!
(She kisses him some more.)
PAT: It's just the wrong time.
DELIA: We'll wait! I don't have to tell people that we're engaged now! We'll make it official when you get me a real ring. Maybe in a year, two years. I don't mind!
PAT: (sitting up and pulling away) We've gotta break up.
DELIA: (sitting up) No.
PAT: I'm not gonna be ready in two years, or five years. I don't know if I'm ever gonna be ready.
DELIA: No. No, you don't mean that.
PAT: Yeah, I do.
DELIA: Okay. Okay, Pat Ryan, you're gonna be very sorry, because I'm not gonna be so easy to forget! No matter how hard you try to ignore me, you won't be able to, because deep down inside you'll be thinking about me! It doesn't matter how many girls there are! If you sleep with a hundred other girls! It will always be Delia! Delia. Delia. Delia.
(The scene drifts back to Pat in bed as Delia's voice carries over.)
VOICEOVER OF DELIA: Someday, Pat, I'm gonna get you back.
(A knock at the door wakes him up. When he doesn't answer, the door opens. It's Delia.)
DELIA: Did I wake you?
PAT: (getting up) Uh, no.
DELIA: (closing the door behind her) I didn't want you to leave the house like that. You were really upset and angry.
PAT: Forget it. I just feel like I need to be alone to straighten my head out.
DELIA: Well, can I talk to you for a few minutes?
PAT: I don't think there's anything left to say.
DELIA: I'd like to try.
(He gets up and turns on a light.)
DELIA: I know I've talked to you about Roger a lot, but I think there are a couple of things that you don't understand at all.
PAT: I've known Roger for years. I understand perfectly.
DELIA: I want to tell you why I'm running away with him and why I'll probably get married to him.
PAT: (angry) That's between you and Roger! Just leave me out of it. You've got a perfect right to have your own independent life.
DELIA: You don't blame me for needing somebody, do you?
PAT: No. I'm sorry for that particular choice of man. But I understand that it's not in your nature to stay alone. Look, I hope I'm all wrong about him. If he can make you happy, I'll be happy.
DELIA: Well, I think all I expect right now is just a little bit of piece and a little bit of affection. I mean, if I didn't know what happiness was, I probably would find Roger thrilling. You see, I really know what happiness is, because I found it. I found it with you.
PAT: (turning away) Well, there's no need to go into that.
DELIA: Memories come back to me sometimes. That's something I can't help. Doesn't that ever happen to you?
PAT: I told you months ago - I've got all that under control.
DELIA: Well, you seem awfully controlled right now. In fact, you sound like a robot. Paddy, just talk to me like yourself.
DELIA: Thank you.
PAT: I...I'm tired, Dee. I think you'd better go home.
DELIA: Nobody's expecting me home. Little John's not even expecting me home. I have one thing I have to ask you. I know that my loving you doesn't make things work for us. So is it that you feel uncomfortable with me because of the family? Because, if it's true, there's nothing that I can do about that. But here in your room, you can forget about everything else. Maybe we could have an honest goodbye.
PAT: You're making it sound like you're gonna disappear forever.
PAT: I don't think...
(They kiss, but Pat pulls away.)
PAT: Look, we don't have to say goodbye. I told you a million times that we're still gonna be friends. You're making it sound like we're never gonna see each other again. That's ridiculous. Hey, we don't have to say goodbye.
(She hugs him.)
DELIA: Paddy, you feel so good.
PAT: (pulls away and turns from her) We're just asking for trouble.
DELIA: Is this trouble? This isn't wrong! It's wrong to try to hide up all the beautiful feelings we've had for each other. See, I'm not afraid of those. I was a much better person when we were lovers. See, we were sweet and we were gentle to each other. And when you loved me, I felt so good about myself. Paddy, when you touched me...
(He takes off her coat and they kiss again. Then she sits down on his bed and reaches out her hand to him.)
DELIA: Paddy, please. You're the only one I love. All I want is for you to love me.
(He goes over to her and takes her hand.)
PAT: Get up, Dee.
PAT: I can't love you.
DELIA: You do love me. We both know that. I am who I am because you love me! I'm not a Ryan because I'm Frank's wife, or I'm the mother of his child. I'm a Ryan because you love me and you took care of me and you gave me a place to belong. See, everything that's happened since then, it doesn't really matter, because nothing can separate us. I mean, it hasn't so far and it's not going to! Pat, I can't pretend that I don't love you anymore! Don't make me pretend!
(He tries to pull her up.)
DELIA: You do want me, don't you Paddy?
PAT: You know you're very special to me. There's nobody else like you, there never will be. Yeah, I want you, but let me tell you why we can't do this.
DELIA: (covering her ears, child-like) I don't want to hear why you can't!!!
PAT: I know you don't, but you're gonna have to listen! Now there are a couple of things that won't change, just because you want them to, mainly the fact that you are my brother's wife.
DELIA: (indignantly) I am not your brother's wife! I am not his wife! (sits on the bed and pounds on it) Frank wishes I was dead! (hysterically) He wants to take Little John away from me. And he got Jill pregnant. I don't exist! I am not his wife! Paddy, don't be mad at me, please? Please, try to understand me. I need you so much.
(Disheveled and desperate, she reaches out her hands to him, then breaks down when he doesn't respond.)
DELIA: Why can't anyone understand how I'm feeling?
(She lies down on the bed. He sits beside her, places her head on his lap, and starts stroking her hair.)
PAT: It's okay.
DELIA: Hold me. (he continues) That's nice.
PAT: You just stay still a minute, okay?
DELIA: Paddy, do you remember the first time that we really cared about each other?
DELIA: Do you remember the time that we first made love to each other?
PAT: (anxiously) Yeah.
DELIA: I was very scared.
PAT: Yeah, me too.
DELIA: No, I know I was more scared than you were. I think you were just afraid that Father McShane was gonna pop up from underneath the couch.
PAT: No, I was afraid I was gonna hurt you.
DELIA: No, you've always been so good to me.
PAT: I don't know if that's true. I've tried.
DELIA: No, it is true. You know, I used to think about you all the time. I used to...well, I'd carry you around in my thoughts. And I used to pray for us to be alone together. You know what still amazes me?
PAT: What's that?
DELIA: (smiling) How such young kids could make love so well.
PAT: (grins) Practice.
DELIA: (laughs) Makes perfect. I remember that we used to waste so much time trying to find a place that we could go, and we took a lot of chances. Do you remember that you told me that when you were with me, you couldn't bear not touching me? Do you remember that?
PAT: You were so beautiful.
DELIA: I wish we'd got married.
PAT: It would have been a bad mistake, Dee, we were too young.
DELIA: No! No, you keep on saying that! That's not true. The only reason I got married to Frank was to hold onto you and that was a very big mistake, and I wanted to hold onto Maeve and Johnny also!
PAT: I think maybe you still want to hold onto them.
DELIA: Stop pretending with me. Just tell me that you feel the same way, Pat.
PAT: Dee, what you're talking about was eight years ago! There's no way we can just pick up from where we left off. Too much has happened, including the fact that you married Frank!
DELIA: Are you punishing me for that? Or are you just scared what Maeve and Johnny are gonna think?
PAT: You're making this incredibly difficult!
DELIA: Because I love you!!! Why is it so difficult for you to understand that? Why can't you love me back?
PAT: For the simple reason that, if we start, we won't stop. And no matter how much I could let myself become involved with you again - no matter how much I want you - the most we could ever be to each other is lovers, trying to keep everybody else from figuring out what's going on.
PAT: Because to the rest of the world - to the people we care about, anyway - you're Frank's wife!
DELIA: That's very hard for me to accept. It's very hard for me to accept that we're not gonna be together. Pat, don't you even want me, just a little bit?
PAT: Oh, Dee! (helps her up) On your feet, okay?
(He kisses her forehead, then helps her put her coat on.)
PAT: Come on.
DELIA: Do I have to go home?
PAT: Yeah. Let's go.
(He escorts her out the door. In the next scene, they arrive at the Ryans. Everyone else is in bed, so they are alone in the living room.)
DELIA: It's very quiet. I guess everybody's sleeping.
PAT: Yeah. Maybe you should check on Little John. I think I heard him.
DELIA: Will you wait?
DELIA: Thank you.
(She goes into the other room, leaving Pat alone to hear her voice in his head, repeating a slight variation of what she said earlier.)
VOICEOVER OF DELIA: I am who I am because you love me! I'm not a Ryan because I'm Frank's wife, or I'm the mother of his child. I'm a Ryan because a long time ago, you loved me and you took care of me and you showed me what it was like to belong. I'm tired of pretending I don't want you. Don't make me pretend anymore!
DELIA: (suddenly) Look who's awake.
(She has escorted Little John in.)
PAT: Hey, buddy! How ya doing?
(He starts crying.)
PAT: Hey, I got something for you the other day. You want to see what it is? In fact, I have it right in my pocket. It's a towtruck! (He takes it out.) For your collection. (takes him onto his lap) See there? See how it works? It's got two hooks. You can tow twice as many cars.
DELIA: Pat? Paddy, you're really wonderful with him.
PAT: Well, you know, we don't have the ordinary, run-of-the-mill uncle-nephew relationship. We have this bond based on towtrucks!
DELIA: He's very lucky that he has you. I wish he was ours. I know I'm wrong to say that, but I just can't help it. You know, do you remember when we were going out together, and you were so terrified that I would get pregnant?
PAT: (uncomfortably) Yeah, I remember that very well.
DELIA: Well after we broke up, I wished it had happened.
PAT: (stunned) Well, it certainly would have changed things, alright.
(We can see the wheels suddenly start spinning in Dee's head.)
PAT: Hey, is Litttle John up to date on his shots and his boosters?
DELIA: (only half aware of the question) Yeah, he is. You know what I don't understand, Pat?
DELIA: I don't understand about Frank and Jill. See, if Little John means so much to Frank - I think he means a lot to him - I mean, I understand why he might have left me, but I don't understand how Jill could get him to walk out on his own child for a while. If you had a child, Pat, could you walk out on him? I mean, could you lose a place in his life?
PAT: (uneasy) No, I don't think I could do that.
DELIA: I didn't think that you could.
PAT: Which is part of the reason why I'm not ready to get married and begin a family. That's the ultimate responsibility.
DELIA: (nods) Yeah, I think you're right about that.
PAT: (semi-jokingly) And you know that Ryans are taught to whom they owe the most loyalty, right?
DELIA: (calculating) To other Ryans.
PAT: Yeah, especially the ones they father.
DELIA: Maeve and Johnny feel the same way about that, don't they?
PAT: You know the answer to that as well as I do. (pause) You alright?
DELIA: Yeah, I'm really a lot better, thank you.
PAT: Good. (whispers) I'm gonna take him back.
DELIA: It is a little cold out here.
PAT: Yeah, a little. (to Little John) Okay!
DELIA: Good night. (kisses the baby)
PAT: Alright, come on big buddy! (picks him up) Oh! What have you been feeding him?
DELIA: (laughs) It's incredible, isn't it? I mean, I always think that he should be carrying me around.
PAT: I'll see you in a minute, okay?
PAT: Time for bed!
(Pat carries Little John into the other room, and Delia grins evilly.)
DELIA: A baby!
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